Sunday, December 21, 2014

Pretentious products

I just think lately some products have become a little silly and pretentious in their marketing. It's all a result of this global food craze washing over us - the food 'religion' that's more popular and pervasive than the new Pope.

Take chips for instance. I mean when I was a kid munching on chips the choices were pretty much chicken, barbecue, salt and vinegar and plain. I was happy enough with these as choices. Although, strangely enough cows seemed to have been overlooked in the chip scene - I dunno, would beef flavoured chips not be okay for some reason? Anyway, sure, over the years other flavours like sour cream and chives, cheese and onion and tomato and basil have snuck onto our supermarket shelves. And that's okay, there are some really tasty new flavours out there now.

But, I mean, c'mon! Am I honestly going to be able to detect whether or not the chicken flavour in my chips is organic as opposed to non-organic? Or, that the herbs had been hand selected (even if they were in the first place)? Or, that the salt is supposed to have been imported from the Himalayas? Of course not! It's BS.

Anyhow, enjoy your chips. Enjoy this post too - I've specially hand picked and lovingly crafted it for you. Can you tell?


Friday, June 6, 2014

Ascent

"Goooooood afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. We'll be climbing to 5000 feet. Sit back and enjoy your flight."


Thursday, March 20, 2014

People's names - Olivia Newton's John

Well here's Olivia sitting in her bathroom on the John, talking to the mirror. We all know a lot of these celebs get work - some more than others. And Olivia sure has had some work. But a bit too much. I mean she used to be quite good looking, don't you think? Now she looks like someone else. I don't know who, just someone else. She used to look like herself.




Thursday, March 13, 2014

People's names - Joe's Hockey

Hello mammoth fans! In case you're located in a foreign country or otherwise have no idea who I'm talking about, it's Joe Hockey this week. He's Australia's new Treasurer (unfortunately for us). Poor Joe. He was all talk when he was in opposition (I mean they all are really), tearing down the then Treasurer. But now that he has to actually perform as Treasurer himself, he's a bit lost. He's clutching at straws. He's swinging wildly. He's slashing spending left, right and centre - slashing like someone who has no worthwhile reform ideas of their own.

Anyhow, stick around for the next time I post something amazing! That should be next week.